“There are no unwanted children just unfound families”- National Adoption Centre.
As I pen this a lot has happened this past year and is still happening. The fact that I was mugged in September, the dog was put down in November and I moved away today from my foster family that I have come to know and love as my blood family is proving to make me feel a bit more emotional. Tuckman believed that in group dynamics we have different stages of development ie the forming phase, norming,storming and lastly the mourning stage. I have come to know and experience this in all group situations at work and in family. I have been through a lot with my family, I’ve grown, failed, disappointed them and through it all they still chose to stick by me and many times through my hurts loved me back to life.
Yes I am not moving so far away as in leaving the country but just the realisation of being on my own and growing up for ‘ real’ has had some effect on me. It was and has been truly amazing to have been surrounded by family in such close proximity living in the garden cottage where I felt safe and secured something I never had in early life.Now I know that God has amazing things planned for my next phase of growth and development and I am excited but this mourning phase that I am currently experiencing does not feel any less painful and sad. The impact of this was a result of having had a bad family environment and growing up in a children’s home since I was ten and having missed out on God’s vison and dream for family. I am blessed to have had this love for the while that I did. God heard my prayers, saw how my heart ached and although it took him 11 years later to respond he gave me the best gift ever I could have asked for and experience family type love so immensely and intensely these past 6 years. I am grateful that God specifically chose to use this family to bring about my healing, and restoration.
I hope one day that if God chooses to use me to have my own family that I will use the values, the love and all the lessons easy and challenging ones that I have learnt from this family and use it and apply it accordingly. I’ll miss our intimate family talks,the piano/guitar jam sessions with dad, movie nights with Tanz or should I say with myself cause she always fell asleep, Chrissy’s pancakes and laugh, Nicole’s intense yet intelligent conversations and mom’s preacher and prayerful heart, decorating the christmas tree are just some of the things that I hold close to my ❤
Thank you Dad, Mom, Nicole, Tanya,Christin and all extended family for making me feel loved and most importantly like I belonged and was part of your family.
Forever Grateful and Blessed to have been part of your lives so intricately thanks for changing my life, touching my heart and renewing my soul.
Forever your coconut child 🙂
© Melanie Arendse